


Love is Optional

by Eastdale20



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:47:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24244525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eastdale20/pseuds/Eastdale20
Summary: Ben runs away at twelve after Phil started to get violent with him. Scared that it would be just like with Stella. Story starts to take place in April 2014. Callum will show his face much sooner than canon. Warning, this will be a little dark in some places.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 13
Kudos: 45





	1. Ben Mitchell?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Eastenders or the character. 
> 
> Warning Ben's story before coming back to the Square isn't a happy one. It will NOT be in detail though. This will be the abuse and manipulation of a 12-17 year old. It will be nothing in more detail than the show has down with other characters though. I'm from the US, so be gentle with language. I thought about trying to do more authentic but then worried I would make no sense. There could be more tags or warnings later.

He wasn’t sure what he was doing back here. He had run away as a terrified little boy years ago. It wasn’t long after he left when he realized what a mistake he had made, but it was too late. He had been twelve when his dad scared him and started being violent with him. While Stella had been cold and calculating with her abuse of him, his father was complete rage. He knew what was next and he needed to get out of there before it happened. Running to Ian wouldn’t work, his father had already gotten custody of him. With his mum dead there was no one to run to that wouldn’t tell his dad. Last time he ran away he made the mistake staying on the square. He hadn’t done that again.

Life was hell after he ran away, for a few weeks he was still thinking it was an adventure and how sad his dad would be. He knew his father would find him and beg him to come back and stay and never be mean to him again. That didn’t happen, he didn’t know if it would have happened if he hadn’t met Donavon. He had loved Oliver! and thought of Donavon as a Fagin like character, he was wrong. Donavon wasn’t like Fagin; he was like Bill Sykes only much worse in Ben’s opinion. He shivered, blocking thoughts of the man.

As scared as he was to see his father again, he wanted to get it over with. Also, he wanted to see his grandmother and cousins Roxie and Ronnie who were more like aunts. Stepping into the Vic as an adult and not a small child was an odd experience. It looked different but the same, maybe it was just his perception. What he noticed right away it wasn’t his gran behind the bar. It was a middle-aged bloke with a blond woman who was probably his wife with all the touches she gave him and way she moved around him.

Not for the first time he wondered if his grandmother was dead. He couldn’t picture her dying though he remembered her being larger than life. His birthday was in soon, he would be eighteen in a little over a month no reason for anyone to get out of shape. Coming to Walford was necessary for his well-being and Dylan’s because if Donovan caught him, he would kill him.

“I feel this is somehow a joke. You know, a lad and little nipper walk into a pub?” the barman said.

Ben looked down at his son, usually Dylan wanted him to carry him around, but he was tired for lugging all their stuff into the dodgy hotel he found. It had been all he could afford; he would go out later to make some money.

“Sorry, mate. I was just looking for my gran.”

The barman looked around, “Is she here?”

“No mate, she used to run this place. Her name is Peggy Mitchell.”

“Ah, well we bought the place from Phil Mitchell awhile back. He’s just across the road if you have needed him? I heard he had a brother; you must be his nephew. Peggy moved away though.”

“Something like that.”

“Do you know if Ian Beale is still at 55 Victoria Road?”

“Nah, mate, he’s just next door at 45.”

Ben really didn’t want to see his brother or father at yet. He was sure coming back to the square was the right choice, but it had never been home to him. He mostly came back hoping his gran would take him in. But now he knew she wasn’t around anymore he didn’t know where to go. His had dad wanted him until he realized he wasn’t the son he wanted.

“Cheers,” he said before picking up Dylan and leaving the pub.

Instead of heading over to his brother’s, he headed to the market. He wanted to get Dylan something to snack on, he knew his son was going to start whining soon.

Just as he entered the Bridge Street Market. It was filled with vendors he hoped no one would notice him when if he lifted a piece of fruit or two. That was blown out of the water once Dylan saw the flower stall.

“Da, pitty, pitty, da, wan.”

The woman working the stall had noticed him, so he walked away from the fruit and veg trader, it was Ian’s stall but wasn’t Ian behind it. He couldn’t see who the bloke was because he had his back turned towards him.

“Isn’t she just darling,” the woman said.

She wasn’t the first person to assume Dylan was a girl. Ben hated taking him to get his hair cut so it was long. There was also the fact Dylan was wearing a pink jumper, he couldn’t’ really pick and choose donations, it was also Dylan’s favorite. Dylan also had his mother’s face; she was all fire and edge but had a beautiful face.

“Pitty,” Dylan said again. Ben sighed and knew when he was beat.

Walking over to the flower stall, he smiled at the woman. Looking over the flower he thought he may be able to buy a flower.

“How much for a single flower?” he asked the woman.

She smiled at him sweetly, seemingly reading that this wasn’t something he planned. Turning her gaze to Dylan she smiled and asked, “What flower would you like?”

Dylan’s small hand point at a pink carnation. “Pitty,” he said before pointing at his jumper.

“Yes, it does match doesn’t it.” She pulled a beautiful pink carnation out of the bunch and handed it to Dylan who took it eagerly. “It’s on the house,” she said, smiling at Ben, he returned it but held some suspicions. He knew no one gave anything for free, he learned his lesson the hard way even a cheap carnation.

“Tell her thank you,” he told Dylan.

“Fank yo.”

The woman smiled brightly and waved to Dylan. Just as Ben was about to turn around and try and lift an apple for Dylan, he noticed a familiar face coming towards him. She hadn’t noticed him, but she would if she kept walking. She was chatting with a lad he vaguely remembered from before. On the other side, he noticed another familiar face. At one time she was his best mate, his confidant. They had even planned to runaway together once. Abi. His eyes went back the other blond with them though. He couldn’t figure out what she was doing here of all places.

As if she felt his eyes on her she looked up. Her eyes widened on him then she was running, leaving the other two she was with stunned.

“Ben!” she cried. She was reaching out and he knew what she wanted. He handed Dylan over as soon as she was within reach. She grabbed the boy and cuddled him close. He knew Dylan was confused but his son was a tactile child, so he didn’t cry.

“Ben? Ben Mitchell?” Abi asked, slowly arriving behind with the familiar bloke.

“Hiya, Abi,” he said, wishing he were anywhere else but in middle of the market with all eyes now on him.

“What’s going on?” the bloke asked.

“My baby, my baby,” Lola cried as she still held Dylan tightly.

Finally, he was able to ask the question that had been on his mind for almost three years. “Where is Lexi?” It had taken him months to get back to Lola’s and she and Lexi were gone by then.

“She’s with Pop,” Lola said, pulling her face away from where she had been sniffing Dylan head.

“I’ve no idea who that is,” he told her.

“Wait a minute. What is going on?” the bloke asked again.

“Not here, let’s go back to mine,” Lola said but as she started to walk away with Dylan he started so cry. He was reaching his arms out for Ben.

“Let me take him, you can take him back when we get there. He’s a bit clingy.” He saw Lola wanted to argue but with a screaming toddler in her hands, she handed him back. Dylan quieted down instantly; Lola’s face fell but lead them away from prying eyes.

* * *

Lola couldn’t believe her eyes; she couldn’t stop looking at her son. The day that she and Ben split up was her last time seeing her son. Right before her fourteenth birthday she ran away from the care home. She fell into a group of homeless youths. Some were there because they ran away like herself, some were kicked out and some just never had a home because their parents didn’t.

That’s where she met Ben, he was one of Donovan’s boys. One of his best because Ben wasn’t hooked on drugs like most of Donovan’s other kids. Ben told her most of his clients wanted someone that wasn’t out of their minds on drugs. She wondered how he could do what he did and never turn towards drugs.

Just after her fourteenth birthday she and Ben slept together. They had protection; Ben insisted on it, but nothing is a 100 percent. He didn’t know if he was gay or not, he said he always was attracted to men even before he had a word for it. But after running away and falling in with Donovan, he didn’t know anymore. It was weird and awkward, and they got drunk afterwards. She decided to go back to the care home because Ben begged her, he said Donovan was asking questions and he didn’t want the same thing to happen to her as it did him.

It wasn’t long after that she found out she was pregnant. She was able to find Ben and tell him, she had hoped it would encourage him to leave the lifestyle he was involved in. That didn’t happen but he did come to hospital when the babies were born. Lexi and Dylan were beautiful. She named both of them because she had carried them, but she did put Ben on their birth certificates and he happily signed. It wasn’t until the social worker came to take her back to the care home, she feared what would happen. It was alright though, she wasn’t put the other girls anymore, she was given her own flat in a teen mum building. She was given much more freedom now with the babies, but she was drowning. She couldn’t take care of the both of them. That’s when she found Ben again and asked him to leave getting gross old blokes off and father their children. She was shocked when he agreed. He couldn’t move into the flat with her, but he was able to move in with an old woman that lived near her.

Then when the twins were a month old everything fell apart. Her and Ben were out with the babies, Ben was holding Dylan and she had Lexi. She hadn’t noticed until Ben froze beside her. Her and Ben decided to try and lose him, they split the plan on both of them was to go to the police. She made it to hers and Ben never did. The older woman said that Ben never came back, and she threw his stuff out.

She told the police and the social worker a little of the truth. She told them she didn’t believe Ben ran off with Dylan, but she did think something happened to him. She looked in all Ben’s usual places, but he had all but disappeared. She asked around about Donovan too, according to one of lads, he pulled up stakes and left. She had no where to look for Ben anymore.

By the time Pop came to find her, talking about Dylan was too painful. He knew, the social worker told him, but he kept it quiet for her. One day she had been over at Phil’s and saw the picture on the mantel. A picture of Ben as a younger boy. That’s when she knew she had to stay. If Ben was dead, Dylan probably was too. But if he wasn’t, then one day he would come back here.

Now after almost three years, her baby was in front of her again. “Why is he wearing pink?” she asked as they all sat in Pop’s front room, Dylan in her lap.

“He likes pink,” Ben defended himself.

“Hmmm…likely story,” she said with a small smile.

In the beginning she had been so angry that Ben didn’t show up, then she had been worried. The only thing that was keeping her going was Lexi and knowing Ben would do everything he could to protect Dylan.

“Would someone tell us want’s going on?” Abi demanded.

“Me and Ben had a one off about four years ago. Lexi has a twin, Dylan. Things happened that won’t be discussed until I can have a private chat with Ben. But none of that matters now, I have both my babies now.”

“Lola, this is Ben Mitchell, he’s like your cousin,” Abi said.

“I knew that, I’ve known that since I saw his photo at Phil’s when I moved to Walford.”

“Small world,” Ben said uneasily.

“Can I have him for the night?” she asked.

She knew better than just to assume it; Dylan didn’t know her. It would do more harm to him just to take him back. But one night couldn’t hurt. She had custody still, she would have to tell the police that Dylan was found. She would have to get Ben’s story first in case she needed to cover for something.

“Of Course,” he said giving her a smile.

“Where are you staying?” she asked.

“Walford Arms.”

“Ben that place is filthy,” she said.

“I don’t have a lot of options or money.”

“What about Phil?” Jay asked.

“I’ll think about it. We’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?” Ben asked her.

“Yeah.”

“Do you need me to bring some of his stuff? He doesn’t use nappies anymore but sometimes he has accidents at night.”

“Just like Lex. No, he’s her size they can share until tomorrow. I can’t wait to see them together.”

“I was hoping to see her, but I guess it’ll wait ‘til tomorrow.”

“She’s going to be so chuffed,” Lola said to her one-time friend.

“Right,” he said but didn’t look convinced. “He gets hives if he eats citrus.”

“Oh, Lexi doesn’t have any allergies,” she said thoughtfully.

“It’s mild but I still like to stay away from it, just best not to risk it.”

“Yeah.”

She watched as Ben cuddled Dylan. “Now you be a good boy for your mummy, alright?”

“Go wif yo,” Dylan started to cry.

She didn’t want to cause Dylan any distress. “Why don’t you stay the night?”

“I don’t know, Lola.”

“Please, he doesn’t know me. It’ll be scary for him without you.”

“Alright, after he goes to bed tonight, I’ve got to go get something back from the hotel.” She knew he was lying but she would sort it out later.

* * *

Peter was out running; it always cleared his mind. After hearing his father talk about his sister being the only one that was worth anything, it hurt to his core. He had always felt like he was never good enough, she was always the smart one without even trying. As he ran past their house, he saw the window close, it was odd, but he just kept running.

* * *

Lucy heard someone upstairs moving around. She assumed it was Bobby until he was in front of her yelling about her making everyone upset. She loved her little brother but sometimes he was a brat, like now. She was yelling back and decided to go upstairs, then she remembered her letter and turned away to grab it to put it on her dad’s bed. As she did, she heard a smacking sound and felt something come in contact with her head.

“OW!” she cried turning around.

She saw Bobby holding his hand to his chest and someone next to him, looking at him sharply. Looking at the stranger for a second it took a moment to realize it wasn’t a stranger at all.

“Ben?”

“I think that’s Uncle Ben to you,” he said trying to sound jovial.

“Did you just hit me with,” she looked around and saw it. “A music box?”

“No, I just stopped this one from cracking you any harder with it.”

“Who are you?” Bobby demanded; he was sulking.

“Your uncle be glad I did too, or you could have really hurt her,” Ben said, glaring at Bobby.

“You hurt me,” Bobby said holding up his hand.

“Walk it off,” Ben said.

“Ben, where have you been? Wait…what are you doing here? How’d you get in?” Ben suddenly looked guilty and she knew. “It were you upstairs. What were you doing?”

“Fine, I might have been looking for something to nick from Ian’s room.”

“You can’t steal from my dad,” Bobby said.

“Too right, stingy lump got anything of value in that safe of his.”

Lucy had to laugh; Ben was quite different from the quiet little boy he had been once upon a time. She grabbed her purse and gave him all the cash she had.

“You better come around tomorrow, Dad will go mental,” she told him. They had all been scared what happened to him. Running away at twelve years old, she was terrified to find out what he had been through.

“Yeah, I will, cheers for this,” he said, pocketing the notes. “I wouldn’t turn my back on that one, you should probably tell Ian too, he might need anger management or a swift kick to the backside or something.”

“Right, go on,” she said, still shocked to see her absentee uncle that was younger than her.

After Ben was gone, Bobby started to beg her not to tell their dad. She told him she would think about it but agreed with Ben, something worse could have happened if he weren’t there. It needed to be addressed.


	2. Welcome Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's not in this chapter but the next chapter we will have the appearance of one Callum Highway.

Ben woke up the next morning to someone pounding on the front door. Since he was on the couch, he got up and staggered sleepily to answer it. On the other side was pretty much his whole family.

Lucy looked at him guiltily. “Sorry, Bobby told him about you this morning, so I had to explain. Ian called your dad and we’re all here. Welcome home,” she said with a grimace.

“Might as well come in,” he said opening the door wider. They had been begging Billy not to ring Phil right away last night. After finding out about Dylan he begrudgingly agreed. Billy was enthralled with both of his great-grandchildren.

“What’s all the banging?” Billy asked coming downstairs still in his night clothes.

“We’re gonna have words,” Phil said pointing at Billy aggressively.

“Someone woke up this morning demanding to see his Da,” Lola said coming downstairs, she was ignoring all the people and their glares, she had Dylan in her arms. The boy was wearing purple pajamas with a unicorn on the front.

“Da, eat, ungry,” Dylan said making grabby hands for him. Taking him into his arms, he gave him a kiss on the cheek, causing Dylan to giggle. “Da, eat,” Dylan said, pushing his face away, still giggling. Ben was starting to get really worried about his speech. He hadn’t been too bothered until he heard Lexi speak last night. She was speaking in full sentences, it made him feel like he failed Dylan.

“Who’s that?” his dad asked, anger falling from his face to complete confusion.

“This is Dylan…my son.”

Just as shock was settling in his family, Lola spoke up. “Mine too.”

“What?” Ian asked. All eyes were on them, Ben, Lola and Dylan.

“Long story short, four year ago me and Lola got together once. Dylan and Lexi are the result of that,” Ben told him.

“I don’t understand. Why did you have Dylan and Lola had Lexi? Was this a Parent Trap situation?” Lucy asked.

Ben laughed but Lola did not. “Never would I give up Dylan or Lexi. Things happened that are really none of anyone else’s business. Leave it at that,” Lola said with that take no prisoners attitude that had drawn him to her…for friendship.

When he had met her, she was all gob and snark. Once she asked him why he was so together with what had happened to him. At first, he really had no clue what she was talking about. She didn’t know about his dad or Stella. But she wasn’t talking about any of that, she was talking about what had happened with Donovan. She saw him as a victim, and he was sure that was true in the pure sense of the word, but he never saw himself like that…he couldn’t.

At first, he was sure he deserved what happened, and maybe still a little part of him still did. Then his new normally took over, he didn’t even fight it anymore. In fact, he had made more choices for himself after running away than he ever did with his dad. That was even with Donovan and his “rules”. He could do what he wanted just as long as Donovan got his piece of the profit. That was until Ben had to audacity to try and leave. _Didn’t he know he had belonged to Donovan?_

Donovan chased him which was better than Lola but running holding a newborn wasn’t easy. He had a couple of his muscles intercept Ben when he saw that he was headed for the police. It was funny, after so many years hiding and running from police there he was running towards them. He never made it.

It was luck or maybe just Donovan’s sick head, but he let Ben keep Dylan. Donovan was sure Lola would lead the old bill right to him, so they packed up and left. Ben begged him to let him stop by Lola’s to drop off Dylan. Donovan thought it was best to keep him, now he had a way to keep Ben under thumb, something he had never been able to do even when Ben was young. It took a few months of unimaginable abuse and horror for Ben to finally say it was enough.

Not enough as in leaving Donovan and his racket or losing himself into drugs like so many others dealt with the pain. Just enough that the person his dad had tried to make him into finally came out. He was a Mitchell, and no one pushed a Mitchell about. That wasn’t to say he wasn’t scared of Donovan but when Dylan and Lexi were born, he actually saw a better life. That was why he tried to leave the first time.

It wasn’t his life he was scared for anymore it was Lola and the kids. After they ran Donovan always said that he would come back for Lola and Lexi if he disappeared again. But Ben finally had to risk it, it wasn’t the life for Dylan.

“It’s a good to see ya’ lad,” his dad said looking at him.

Ben looked at him and he really did look like he missed him, so much that he looked like he would break apart. Not as much as Ian who was crying, Ben didn’t know what to do with that, he wasn’t used to criers who weren’t clients. He seemed to bring out the creeps that after the deed would be wracked with guilt, didn’t stop them from coming back though. They were all a bunch of pervs.

His family were all staring at him expectedly. He felt like the walls were closing in on him. They all wanted to know where he had been, he couldn’t tell them.

“Lola, can you take Dylan?” he asked, holding off just doing a runner.

“Of course, go,” she said lightly, taking a wiggling Dylan out of his arms. He was glad, she seemed to understand without words.

As he ran out the door, he realized he didn’t have shoes, also he was wearing clothes that Billy had loaned him. He decided just to walk to the hotel and at least get his and Dylan’s things. They would have things of theirs and Dylan wouldn’t have to wear his twin sister’s pajamas.

It felt like he stepped on every pebble and sharp bit on the way. He was sure his foot was bleeding. Unlocking the door, he went in and crashed on the bed. Before he could really get a plan together, he was asleep.

Waking up again to knocking on the door. This time it was light knocking, almost gentle. For a moment terror shot through him thinking that Donovan had found him. But then he remembered he didn’t have Dylan with him. He should have been scared this morning when his father was banging on the door, but he wasn’t. It was probably because a little part of him trusted that Billy would keep him safe. The whole Mitchell thing and all. Course he should have been thinking of Lola instead, she’s scary at the best of times. No one in their right mind would take her on.

Hobbling to the door, he opened it, ready to fight if he had to. There was no need, at least he didn’t think there was because there was no one there. He stepped outside the door and looked around, but no one was there. Shaking his head, he closed the door. It wasn’t Donovan, the man wasn’t about stealth.

Looking at the clock, he saw that four hours had passed since he left Billy’s. He would shower and dress, then take their stuff over to Billy’s. He couldn’t hide from his family, anyway, he was missing Dylan.


	3. Night Moves

Callum didn’t know what he was doing here. That’s a lie, he did know. He had decided to go to a gay club, here where no one would know him. But as soon as he stepped inside, he froze up. It was too loud, too bright, just too…different. Deep down he had always known he was gay, not that he could ever tell his family. His father would kill him, and his brother would probably help. His dad was a man’s man same with his brother. His mother had run off years ago, he didn’t blame her, he just wished she would have taken him with her. If she had, Stuart would have left long ago and not have to put up with their dad’s abuse to keep him safe. Stuart could have had a real life.

He had just finished his four years in the army; he was trying to decide if he wanted to re-sign. He knew he should, it’s what was expected of him. The thing was, he didn’t want to stay there. It all felt like even a bigger lie.

Tonight, he was driving his friend Nick’s car, Nick thought he had a date…with a girl. Even his closest friends didn’t know the truth about him.

He had gone to SoHo to make sure no one recognized him. He’d even gotten a hotel room. Just as he was leaving the club, he noticed a young man in tight clothes, leaning against the side of a building. He was nice looking, young but nice looking. Callum drove by him, shaking his head. What was he thinking checking out a bloke? Before he was able to drive away something made him turn around, he just wanted to make sure the younger man was alright. He had heard there had been some trouble earlier before he left the club. So, he drove past the younger man again, this time much slower. Then he turned around and did it again. On the fourth time the younger man had almost ran out into the road and started to yell at him.

At first, he didn’t hear what he was yelling but once his window was down, he heard him all right.

“I said…what are you doing? Looking or buying?” the bloke said, coming to the edge of the sidewalk.

“I um…I um…” he stuttered.

“Listen mate, either buy or take your kerb crawling arse and leave.”

Kerb crawling? Finally, it hit him what the bloke thought he was doing. “I’m not, I wasn’t,” he started to say before everything went sideways.

Callum heard someone yell, looking over he saw it was a police officer headed their way. The bloke that had been yelling at him a moment ago jumped in the car with him and demanded that he drive away. Callum worried the police would think he really was kerb crawling drove off.

“Um…I wasn’t trying to pick you up. I wasn’t kerb crawling,” Callum said as he watched the rear-view mirror to see if the police were after them. They weren’t Callum watched the man walk into a shop close to where he drove off.

“Sure, you weren’t, mate.”

“No, really, I wasn’t. I’m not even gay.”

“So, you were just in Red Light for the ambience?”

Callum felt caught, the younger man was looking at him with a smirk on his face. Then Callum realized he didn’t know this man; it didn’t matter if he knew he was gay.

“Yeah, fine, I am gay.”

The younger man just shrugged like it was of no great importance to him, like Callum hadn’t just borne his soul.

“What? You’re not going to say anything?” Callum asked incredulously.

“Mate, I was just looking for punters, not like I have room to judge anyone.”

“Why would you do that?”

The younger man scowled for a moment but then it melted into a frown. “Do you think I want to do this? I don’t. I thought I left it behind but when you’ve done one thing and never anything else, you don’t have much choice.”

“What about university, pick up a skill.”

“I have a skill, as for university, I stopped going to school when I was twelve.”

“That’s really sad,” Callum said out loud.

“Look, I don’t need pity from some closet case whose too scared of his own shadow.”

“I wasn’t, sorry,” he said. He hadn’t meant to offend the younger man; he could tell he was already having a bad day. “Where am I taking you?”

“That depends what you want?”

“I told you, I wasn’t looking for a…date.”

“Look, I’m not really feeling like working either. But you’re fit and I’m a great in bed.”

Callum felt his face warm. “I don’t just have sex with anyone, it has to mean something.”

“Trust me, when it’s with me, it’ll mean something,” the younger man said, he had shifted closer to Callum, all but purring in his ear.

“I-I,” he stuttered.

“It’s alright to have a little fun. I know a place we can go if you’re interested.”

He was going to hell for this he knew it.

* * *

Ben was smiling at the awkward man that had picked him up. When he first started talking about getting off with him for free, he had been joking. But now, it wasn’t, the man was fit and bumbling, a charming combination. Something about him was very attractive to him. Maybe it was because of all his times with creeps, here was someone genuinely wholesome or so it seemed.

“This is the place you know? It’s an alley.”

Ben couldn’t help but smile at the horrified face the other man was making.

“I didn’t know your highness needed something fancy.”

“This was a mistake; I knew it was.”

Ben felt bad, genuinely he did feel bad. “Look, mate, I don’t have a place alright? I’m staying with my cousin; not like I can bring a bloke back there.”

“Come back to my hotel. It’s not much but it’s clean,” the man said quietly.

It hadn’t been the first time he had been invited to a hotel by someone, far from it. But it was the first time he wanted to go back to the persons hotel. When he was younger, he liked when the punter left, and he was allowed to stay in the room the whole night. He would spend time in the shower until he felt almost human again. Then he would tear off the sheets and use the towels as to lay on. He was a bit weird if you asked him, he just didn’t want anything of them touching him after they left.

Ben nodded and the older man drove off, leaving the smelly alley behind. As he drove, Ben just watched him, he had noticed he was fit right away but now he saw the man’s kindness in his face. Ben had made it far in life learning how to read people. He knew who to turn down and who he could go with. It had taken a while for him to learn that. His bad ear didn’t help. He was without a hearing aid for a few years after his old one malfunctioned. But last year he was able to get one again. But because of the years without it, he had gotten good at reading lips and body language.

The bloke was right, his hotel room was nothing special, but it didn’t have to be. He started stripping off his clothes.

“I didn’t bring you back here for that. You just seemed like you needed to somewhere.”

“I need a lot of things, but a hotel ain’t one, mate.” He was going to leave it there but then thought about this man. This man who brought him here without ulterior motive. “What do you need?” he asked curiously.

* * *

Callum was shocked by the question, mostly because he didn’t know how to answer. What did he need?

“I don’t know. I guess just not to feel so lonely anymore.”

The younger man looked at him and sat on the bed, looking at Callum. “What would make you feel not so lonely?”

“Someone to love and that loved me, I guess.”

“And that someone would be a man,” the younger man stated, didn’t ask.

“Yes. I just, I’ve never been with anyone thought. Man or woman.”

“I’ve no problem sleeping with you,” the younger man said.

“I don’t want some quick fuck; I want a boyfriend.”

“Sorry, mate, I’ve never had one of those either, can’t help you there.”

“Didn’t think you could. No one would have me.”

“God, get over the pity party. If you want a boyfriend get one, the only one stopping you is yourself.”

“You don’t understand. I always wanted a family, a partner and kids.”

“You can still have that. I’ve got two kids, trust me, it’s possible a gay bloke can have children.”

Callum was shocked, the younger man couldn’t be older than eighteen. “You have children?”

“Yeah, what about it? All I’m saying is being gay won’t stop you from the life you want. But you can go two ways; you can still pretend to be straight and ruin your life and the woman you lie to or you can be honest.”

Callum didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t really feel like he was lying because he hadn’t been with anyone. “I’m just lost. I don’t know what my next step in life is. I guess I should just re-enlist and be done with it.”

“Soldier? I could see it. I get being lost; I live in lost. You want someone to love you and that you could love, right. I just want someone to care about me, love is optional.”

“What about me?”

“Huh?”

“You want someone, someone real, something real, I have no problem being real. I want to stop being so alone and scared to be myself, and you’re very sure of yourself. So, why don’t we try that together.”

“Are you mental? We just met.”

“I know but you know more about me than anyone else.”

“But you just said you’re re-enlisting, where does that leave me? Writing Dear John letters?”

“Well, you need a new occupation. I need a new occupation. I thought we could find one together.”

The younger man laughed but soon sobered up and looked at Callum oddly. “You know that’s not a bad idea. Actually, that is a great idea. I just need one little thing from you.”

“Sure, what?” He was a little worried about the gleam in the other man’s eyes.

“If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this right.”

“Meaning?”

Instead of answering, the other man got up and finished undressing. God, this man was back and forth so much it made Callum’s head spin. Callum bit back the groan that threated to escape. “I need to know something first,” he said, weakly, know he would do follow through anyway.

“What’s that?” the other man asked, straddling his lap.

“What is your name? Mine’s Callum Highway.”

“Ben Mitchell…now take off your clothes.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this story and want to see more just give a comment. If you don't i'm sorry you can still comment.


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